Transforming Our Personal Mythology...

So I've made no secret that I've been using My Fitness Pal. It's a good app. It's on Android, iPhone, Windows mobile, Ipad, even blackberry. So if you've got a smartphone or iPad you can get it. You can also see it from the plain old World Wide Web. In fact, it's been up on the dubya dubya dubya since at least 2000 do it's been around a while.

The nice thing about MFP is that it's completely and totally free and there is a social networking side to it that I've come to appreciate over time.

Blogs like this one (if you're reading this on MFP) are also very prolific. I read some via RSS from folks that I don't even have as "friends" some like are MFP rock stars, of sorts, and have hundreds of followers/friends so I doubt they want one more or others just don't want or need another friend. I'm kind of at the wall on my friend number so I understand this mindset. Some days I feel overwhelmed by just trying to send out supportive vibes to all these folks who are walking the same difficult road that I am, even if they might be further along or on the first step down that path. I try to be a "good" MFP friend. I'm not sure how helpful these interactions are to my ongoing goal of better health and a normal (not overweight) BMI.

One blog I enjoy is written by MFP user Brutesquad. He has an interesting and ongoing dialogue not unlike my own at times.

This post about Creating Myths is what inspired my post today.

Most of us don't have to think very hard to express our own personal narrative.

I am a fat, unsuccessful guy who has made a raft of bad choices and is living in the purgatory of consequences. This is pretty much my summary. I could go on, of course. There are all sorts of things we think about ourselves. I don't have any marketable skills. I'll never be successful. At some point you get repetitive or end up crying.

What Brutesquad shares is his revision of his personal narrative. He recaptures his myth and weaves in a bit of fun and fantasy.

I'm a bit more down to earth, perhaps,but what follows is my own rekindling of my personal mythology.

When I was a young man, I was confidant that I was the most knowledgeable and the smartest person I knew. I wasn't right but I knew it down deep in the cockells of my being and that was why I kept going. I could never be defeated. You couldn't take away my knowledge and intuitive ability to think on my feet. I was unbeatable.

The thing is I am still that guy. My knowledge base is ever expanding. I can still think on my feet.

I am not my hernias. I am not the extra pounds. I do not need to feed myself happiness. Neither do I need to eat in my despair. I have come to appreciate not eating and not having to eat "just because."

I may not be a teacher yet. I may not have taken the shortest route to traditional success. I am not sure that road would have peeled away my apathy. My compassion for my fellow man has been forged in the fires of my defeats. My devotion to social justice has been honed by the consequences of my poor decision making skills.

So perhaps I am a better person for having failed. Perhaps I'll be a better Educator.

I am my own hero. I will achieve my goal of a "normal" BMI and excellent health. I will be the best Educator I can. My knowledge base is ever-expanding. I can think on my feet better than anyone I know. I am successful.

As John Green says,

Don't Forget to Be Awesome!

~Andy

The gremlin has gone to sleep

So...

Since I left (Methodist Weight Management) MWM last November my weight has gone down some and then back up.

I'm sitting ,right now, at about 85 pounds lost since March 2011.

I'm using My Fitness Pal to track my calories and some weeks that goes well and other weeks that goes not so well. Some weeks I'm completely honest other weeks there is some dishonestly of omission going on. Occasionally, I fall entirely off the wagon for a day or three.

The thing is that my weight while fluctuating up and down a bit isn't going down. In the good weeks it remains stable in the bad weeks it has climbed up a bit so that. Although I was once over the 100 lb mark both on MWM and after it using MFP.

So my weight loss Doc, suggested that I try Phentermine. This is a well-known drug that's been around since the 1950s. It isn't a magic pill, by any means. The list of side effects is fairly short, though and, more importantly, most of them are pretty darned rare from everything I've been able to find. Now you may have heard of Phentermine before as one half of a potentially lethal combo which was uber-successful but was pretty far over the line into amphetamine territory and that was Fen-Phen. Phentermine was found to be the non-lethal half of the dynamic duo and thus, is still around today.

I have to say I don't care for drugs. I prefer non drug therapies as much as possible. However, we have to consider that pretty much any substance that we put into our body which has the potential to significantly alter our internal chemistry is a drug and that includes fairly benign things like water.

In that context there really is no such thing as a "non-drug" therapy. Instead we have to judge substances and therapies based upon their demonstrated effectiveness and then do a cost-benefit analysis of whether or not that outweighs the drugs known side effects. In the cocktail Fen-Phen's case, the side effect of potential heart valve failure was too great of a risk to allow well-meaning but possibly undereducated folks to take even with the guidance of their also well-meaning but sometimes too eager to please Doctors.

So this is my third day on Phentermine. And let me tell you difference for me so far has been dramatic. I have often felt like there was an almost sentient malevolence living inside of me urging me to eat to deal with problems or for no reason at all. I have spent most of my life feeling inexplicably hungry. I have never had the luxury of turning down food.

My only real weapon in my own personal war with food has been Veganism. Now, I'm no Vegangelical, by any means. Those folks wouldn't even consider me part of the fold. I eat honey and I still have powdered creamer in my coffee. One day I'll be able to afford SoyGo in quantity but for now the dollar store coffee whitener is what I have to work with. I can and do regularly turn down meat and mostly turn down cheese and dairy products. Baked goods have been my downfall, but I think I may be able to pass them by now thanks to my drug ally.

I have before called the gnawing hunger within me the gremlin but now the gremlin sleeps. I can even ignore legitimate hunger for a time and suffer no ill effects. Before at the slightest tremor of hunger my brain would lose all focus until the desire was sated and I really didn't have much rational say as to when that point was reached. I had been known, in my pre-aware days, to eat two meals back to back with different friends or family members. I know how insane this is, believe me. Nevertheless, I did it for years without much regret. For the last seven years I have mostly refrained from this practice but I have done so at times; with great waves of guilt and despair following such behavior.

You see before I got married I had already decided I wasn't going to live very long. My hernias were going to kill me eventually and that was that. I was living life to the fattest and that was my indulgence. Oh I smoked a pack a day and drank myself into oblivion once or twice a month as well. My wife gave me love and taught that I was someone worth loving and maybe, just maybe I could be saved.

I no longer stand at the brink of death. It is now my goal to achieve the greatest health possible. It's going to take some work and There's still plenty of heavy lifting to do, some quite literally as I need to start doing strength training to help boost my BMR as I lose weight.

Sorry for the TL;DR post, friends.

If your read all this way, Thanks!

With Gratitude for Life,

~Andy

Breakdown...Again.

I cried this morning.

I changed clothes three times and none of the clothes fit well. I had trouble putting on and tying my shoes for the first time in a long time.

I ended up wearing "job I have" clothes. By this I mean I have been (for a few weeks) dressing professionally, in a shirt and tie. Today it's back to the cargo pants and polo shirt. I want to get a promotion to account manager at my job. Fort hat I ahve to visit clients so I need to be dressed professionally. In my current job I almost never see anyone other than my office mates and the professional dress code went out years ago for the inside office folks. There is a loosely defined business casual dress code and that's it. I wear/ wore jeans two days a week.

So this what I fit into so this is what I wore. I'm not happy about it.

Why?

I have to face the fact that I'm not doing well enough on MFP.

I track okay until I leave work. I get home and I just lose it. Sometimes I just stop tracking and don't bother closing my day out. Other days I track up to 8 or 9 and then I sneak a few extras in. Basically I'm not accountable to myself after I get home.

I'm mentally exhausted by the tedium of my current job. I'm an emotional eater. Mental exhaustion is a close cousin of sadness and depression so... Yeah.

I

'm not making excuses. I'm a grown man and I should be able to do this, right? My therapist doesn't think I have an addiction/compulsion to eat. That may be true but even if it is it certainly isn't true in application. I feel sad so I eat to feel a tiny flash of bliss and then I feel massive guilt and sadness. It's a really abusive cycle.

So, most days 90% of the day I track well I even exercise several times a week sometimes as much as 45 minutes. 45 minutes of Zumba at my weight is not easy, let me tell you. But 90% is not good enough. Especially since about once a month I fall off the wagon and just don’t bother tracking. It’s usually a Sunday filled with activity and sometimes it’s a birthday or other special occasion. My wife likes to say the Birth of the Baby Jesus is no reason to gain ten pounds and this true of any other holiday. (We’re not Christians but Unitarian Universalists do celebrate Christmas and Hanukkah and Rohatsu and Yule and whatever Winter Holiday you like)

So… I’m tracking today. My wife is going to try and help me be more mindful in the evenings. I won’t eat crap if she is in the room, most of the time.

Two books I’m considering at reading : Mindless Eating and The Pleasure Trap. Both are concerned with the type of eating issues I have from two different perspectives.

I’m never sure what I’m going to say when I sit down to write these things but they do usually seem to help.

Thanks for Reading,

Andy

My Negative Narrative: The List & Point-By-Point Refutation

I wrote them out by hand to make them more "real" to me but I will type them as well just in case my handwriting is illegible in any way.

1. I am not Successful.

2. I am a fat guy.

3. My degree is worthless.

4. My poor financial choices have ruined our (my wife and I) lives.

5. I will never be traditionally successful.

6. I cannot control my eating.

I was intending on doing ten, but honestly I had to stretch to reach six.

--See Blog Post for my point-by-point refutation

--J.A.L.--

This idea came from my wife some weeks ago when I was down in the dumps about work or life in general. I'm just now getting around to doing it because I had to sink a little lower before I could feel bottom, I guess.

That and yesterday I watched What the Bleep Do We Know?!

It was a bit cathartic for me. I watched it by myself and then watched again last night with my wife. She wasn't nearly as impressed as I was but for me this film reminded me of some things I needed to be reminded of. We create our own reality.

I wrote the first half of this yesterday. Since then I had a bit of meltdown...or an opportunity for growth.

I have been hating myself for a long time. At least a decade but possibly my whole life on some level. I've never had the most robust self-esteem but my self loathing has mounted as my failures have accumulated over time.

That being said here is the reframing (instead of refutation) of my negative list, as per my therapist's instructions.

1. I am successful, in some ways. I don't live on the street. I eat a vegan diet which is a boon to my health, most of the time and I am good and honest person. Moreover, what is success anyways? My therapist reminded me that this is intricately interwoven with my job and my self-esteem. He thinks (and I agree) that if I get a new job (hopefully at Emerson UU) then this issue will pretty evaporate on it's own, which is great since I feel like it's the worst of my negative attributions.

2. I am a fat guy. What? You expected something different? It's not a fundamentally untrue or subjective fact. I am indeed overweight and morbidly obese. That being said, I have made progress with this issue and I continue to make headway even when the scale remains still or even goes backward.

3. My degree is worthless. Well... it has been so far, but this is another issue that will probably evaporate once I have a fulfilling job and prospects for a career in...?

4. My poor financial choices happened. We are dealing with them and they will eventually be dealt with. There's really no need to carry this baggage around. I really have almost let this one go over the years. It helps that we no longer live with my parents.

5. Why do I need to be traditionally successful? I hate money. I would just end up giving a lot of away, anyways. I'll let my wife bring home the (tempeh) bacon. Financial success will never be fundamental self-worth factor and I made peace with this years ago. I'll settle for contributing to our financial success and debt freedom.

6. I can control my eating. I'm working on this. I'm a stress eater (whoops another negative story maybe this needs it's own bullet point) I have the tendency towards eating as an escapist fantasy. This might be the hardest one for me to reframe into something I can do something about. I feel like this one is hardest to put my finger on, as well. I can exercise some level of control. Control itself is an illusion. I choose to avoid making poor choices by restricting my opportunity to do so. In some ways this helps. I also choose to forgive myself when a poor choice has been made and move on.

7. I know this one wasn't in the picture but I added it today: I do everything wrong. Except the above shows this statement to be fundamentally flawed. I'm not sure I ever believe this except when I'm very overwhelmed to start with, as I was this morning.

So there's my list.

Now you try it and go watch What the Bleep Do We Know It might change your thinking. It's free on youtube and look there it is below. ;-)

~Andy

Finding My Mojo...The Quest For Longterm Health

I have decide once and for all not to go back to Methodist Weight Management.

Why? You ask. It worked so well! It did and it didn't.

Physical changes were made. Some emotional changes were made, but I'm really emotionally still the same. I have to work through some things and figure out why I do the things that I do.

I rebel against everything. I only do well with positive reinforcement.

I realized this fact this afternoon: I rebel against negative reinforcement with all my will.

I suck do I? Oh NO SIR! I have not yet BEGUN TO SUCK.

You will tremble before my terrible ineptitude!!!!

You can see how this attitude and cycle of attitudes is self defeating. So...

I'm working on more positive feedback from myself and creating incentives that aren't goods based. I don't want to get stuff just for doing the right thing. I want to do the right thing because it's the right thing.

Cathy pointed out that I'm a Paladin, by nature & I just need to make my eating a moral choice. I was able to go Vegan because of I made it an ethical choice. I believe a non-vegan diet unethical so... I can easily stick to a Vegan one. I really am a Vegan for health reasons, mostly but as long as there is a moral component it is easier for me to resolve this choice in most situations.

So... The conflict in my eating choices is immediate and monetary pleasure versus sustained and long-term health. See? No moral conflict.

The question is: how I insert a genuine moral conflict?

A contrived conflict is easy enough. I can make up anything. Every time I go over my calories three children die in Uganda. It's not true and I know that. It's like me setting my clock forward. I know how many minutes forward it is set so I just adjust internally. I'm not late, until I'm over ten minutes late. Sometimes I forget in my rush to get out the door, but mostly it doesn't help because my monkey mind isn't dumb, just evil. ;-)

I must find this motivation for long-term success and health. Short term solutions abound but the cost, financial and otherwise, is just too high to go through it again and again.

Suggestions are welcome.

Why I can no longer Work for Money...And Why You shouldn't either.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

What motivates me?

Why do I work? What benefit do I get from work?

It's no secret that money is what makes us trudge into the office every week day here in these United States. No European Holiday for us. No, sir.

Instead most of us are asked to do more with less. We are paid the rates of manual laborers of our parents generations. We are expected to have a college degree. We are expected to work 40 hours a week, no exceptions. We are expected to only take off when we're sick or we have a really good reason. The work day is set. There is no flexibility.

Why do we put up with all this? Money. We need it right? Someone else must have some because our paychecks come. What do we do with our paychecks? Oh yeah we funnel them all to someone else who already has money to pay for the college degree we got five or ten years ago that allows us to be in a job we aren't particularly in love or even in like with.

So it seems hopeless.

Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I know I'm very weary of expending all my efforts to make someone else vast sums of money.

Who is that someone? Is it the company's owners/stockholders? Well they get a chunk but so do the vendors and people who keep the lights on and all of these faceless entities whose only job is to make more money.

Corporations are a failure from the perspective of human compassion. They exist independent of any single human being. They aren't really beholden to anyone. Each person in them is only performing his tiny little bit. Pushing his own feeder bar to get his food pellet. In return the corporation gains wealth and shares that wealth with other soulless, inhumane corporations. Doing business, they call it.

In the pursuit of business our Universities churn out graduates with no skill set. Men and women whose only goal in life is to get more food pellets than the other rats in their block of cages, out in suburbia or the new loft complexes going up all over the places. Get a business degger or MBA that'll help you get ahead, "they" say. Ahead at what? scratching and clawing at your neighbors to get a new car or house?

I need to do something with my life. Something that isn't feeding this system of decay and self-destrctuion. I need to do something that benefits my fellow man.

To help the millions of homeless. To help the hungry.

To educate my friends and neighbors. I need to be the light in the darkness.

I'm not sure how to go about that, honestly.

I'm not sure what I need to do to escape the system. I've tried finding a new job with a nonprofit. Maybe I'm not looking in the right places.

I want to help build a better world. I do want a paycheck, don't let the title fool you. I just need the sum total of my actions to be part of a positive system instead of a parasitic one.

If anyone has any ideas and you live in Houston. I'll be happy to give you a copy of my resume and talk with you. I love to talk about how we can fix what's broke.

It only takes a spark. I want to be the spark.

~Andy

This point in Time (Weight/Health/Family Updates)

So another year ends, another year beckons.

This has been better than the last. 2010 was a bear of a year, no matter how you slice it. So, 2011 didn't have to try too hard.

That being said I've lost 102 lbs (and gained back 14) this year. My wife has shed her weight of other people's expectations (her hair to her knees) and many pounds as well. I think her total lost since Jonas was born is about 75 lbs. She has lost a big chunk of that in 2011.

I've also remained employed for another year, nothing wrong with that, even if I don't love my job. I'm still on the hunt for a new nonprofit job. I'm also looking over the horizon to finishing up my (full) teaching certification and getting my master's in Social Studies Education do I can maybe, actually be employable to most districts. Getting my Masters also pretty well ensures that the principal will look on me as "future department head" not as "possible <insert competitive meaningless sport here> coach."

I'm constantly reevaluating my religious and philosophical views. I attended a Christmas Eve Service this year (Jonas was a Magus/Wise Man). This doesn't mean I've re-embraced Christianity. Unitarian Universalism is definitely the place for me. It allows me to continue to search for truth and meaning while embracing the aspects of Buddhism, Humanism and, yes, even the Abrahamic traditions, Christianity included. I'm still a Humanistic Zen Buddhist (If you really need a label), but foremost I am Unitarian Universalist and that identity is something I'm quite proud to embrace, mindful that form is emptiness and emptiness is form.

Everyone still with me??

Jonas played soccer this year and he loved that, even if he, like me, doesn't have the mindset/heart for competitive sports, physical build not withstanding. He will probably continue with that for several more years. Taekwando has out-priced itself. He's going into Lego Club in after-school. He was never super crazy about Taekwando.

Looking Forward to 2012 I have a few (very small) plans:

1. Ride my bike and teach the boy to ride his.

2. Brew something. Perhaps several somethings.

3. Commit to tracking my calories or return MWM to complete the Weight Loss Phase of my physical transformation.

4. Continue Job Hunting and applying for Nonprofit Jobs.

5. Practice being Content and aware of my many gifts and treasures at least once a day.

6. Breathe.

7. Sit and be still for five minutes a day. Stillness begets creativity and happiness.

Now, all of these are fairly simple. Some of them are things I remind myself to do everyday. Most of these things are not closed-ended. I want to enjoy life, every moment of every day, but I understand that sometimes I won't be happy. That's okay I will strive to be satisfied.

The numbers:

Weight: Staring Weight: 456.4

Current Weight: 364.2

Pants Size: Starting: 64 - 66

Current: 52

Hefty Braggot: A Review

As promised here is my review of a homebrew sent to me by good friend and fellow Buddhist, John Pappas.

I'm going to be honest here: I like mead. It never even occured to me to blend mead and beer until a couple of years ago. I've only had my braggot. Mine is more mead than beer and I get the impression that this one is more beer than mead.

It has a nice head that stayed around a while which was surprising.

The aroma has strong hop tones and notes of honey (imagine that). The carbonation was spot on. It's hard not to overcarbonate braggot or sparkling mead bottled with metal caps.

The color was a rich brown. It was very close to a dark amber or a brown ale.

The flavor was a shock despite the hoppy aroma. This stuff is hoppy. I talked to John about this and he said he was trying to balance out the big dose of honey. I get that. Balance is good in beer and hops have their place. Honestly, I've never used hops in braggot. I prefer it to taste more akin to honey bread. Hops make sense if you like hops and it certainly improves the shelf life. This tasted like someone added honey to an IPA, which isn't bad mix and if you like hops you would like this brew.

Overall I'd give a 4.5 out of 5. I really appreciate the quality and complexity and obvious skill that went into the brew. I'm just not a hop head and this was a big dose of bitter stuff for me. If you like hops and honey and you can convince the old Jack Daw to brew you some I'd recommend this brew to you.

In pieces,

Andy

A slight redirection

So, I've been off MWM for several weeks. The last time I went was the
second week of November.

I'm feeling great. Exercise is good for the body and mind. I never
realized how important it is to just move and then I lost the ability
to do so with ease and, well it's a spiral of sorts from there. I'm
moving so much more and having a good time doing so.

We went to Texas Renaissance Festival on Sunday. It was the last day
of TRF for the year. I amazed by the artistry of so many artisans and
merchants. I got a swell mug. I think I might want to move into real
pottery. Clay is cheap but kilns are not...One day perhaps. Or perhaps
I'll just build a fire and get it super hot. :-)

I'm eating well and not that concerned about food. I haven't tracked
every day but I have been aware of my energy balance and how it was
tilted every day. That's good. I really feel like MWM made me more
obsessed with food instead of less. The extreme mindset that it
necessarily entails wasn't good for me other than the physical "side
effects."

I've decided I really like this blog and the blog title. I'm going to
start posting things here other than just strictly weight loss stuff.

So you'll get some of most of my other interests. I'll confine my
politics for the most part to Google+. You'll get some Buddhist and
Unitarian Universalist stuff here, now. Also, some vegan and simple
personal update type stuff that I wasn't sure where to place before
now.

I'm going to keep you guys updated. I haven't weighed since 11-17 but
at that time I was at 354.6. I expect that my weight will either be
lower or about the same. I didn't track during vacation... or at least
not well. I also am fairly certain that I went over at some point on
some of the days, at least. I also exercised a ton, as well. So, it
might be a toss-up. Even if I gained a pound or two it isn't the end
of the world. I'm still on the right track of counting my calories and
exercise by using MFP.

Feel free to let me know if you have nay questions about my weight
loss journey thus far or about my diet and methods.

In Peace,

Andy

Before the wheels fall off...

Have you ever remembered to go to the tire place and have your wheels checked BEFORE you got a flat tire? Yeah, me neither.

Well, it feels like we've been rolling on a donut for the past couple weeks, so we made the executive decision to pull over and fix things before we do some serious damage to our little wagon.

Andy has become increasingly frustrated with his job and after having done some research into what he really wants to do with his life and what he's suited for it hasn't made things any less frustrating. Frustration at work and long hours lead to the occasional saltine cracker or tootsie roll and that just derails the whole ketotic diet. So then it's three days of trying to get back in ketosis, during which time he might slip up again.

I finally had enough of seeing him so frustrated with work and so guilty about eating anything anymore, even the plate of broccoli that wouldn't screw up things too badly. I started thinking about the holidays and seeing family and all the food and I started getting really anxious about spending hours at someone else's house having to play food police, making us both miserable.

That's crap. Not the program, the program is awesome. It's just not working right now. And when it doesn't work it's a huge burden on us. When it does work, it's a blessing. We need to get him back to where it does work and what we've been doing hasn't been working. So I said, "Hey, why don't you stop that for a while? Go back in January. Newly motivated. And this way you get to eat pie."

Andy has just about all the nutritional knowledge he needs and the tools necessary to continue losing weight by tracking calories. I've seen him exhibit more self-control when it comes to eating and more awareness and mindfulness of his eating choices since he has started this program. That you can't put a price on. Between the behavioral and the nutrition classes he is armed with everything he would need to do this on his own.

Eventually he will be completely on his own. For now though this will just be a mental health break while he uses MPF to do what I've been doing for about three months now. This will help us to de-stress the holidays and get practice for the future when he does enter phase 2.

So we did our best to tweak the MFP numbers to set him up for a 3 lb a week loss. At his current weight that still allows him 2000 cals a day. That's plenty, and he's been tracking his walking around during the day. He even got on the trampoline last night for some rebounding. The trick, and this sounds odd to most people, is that he needs to eat ALL his calories.

Two-thousand might even be too low, and we'll find out as we go, but I suspect it will be ok. Experts recommend no more than a 0.5-2 lbs per week loss for healthy weight loss, but other experts say that losing 1% of your weight is also acceptable. But dipping too far below your target calorie limit will confuse your body and you will enter starvation mode.

So he might have to eat pie every day. Such a pity. ;)

But so far he's doing really really well tracking everything he's eating, even gum. Yes it's only been two days, but weight loss is something you take one day at a time, one meal at a time, one bite at a time. When you're trying to lose weight, every day is day one.

Today he went for his last weigh-in for the next two months at MWM. They were sad to see him go, but they know he'll be back and everyone agreed that this was the best thing for him to do right now. Also he's lost another 5 lbs with his 5 days of trying to do the shakes and two days of tracking. This is promising. Three more and he's back down to his 100 lb loss. Talk about more good news.

There wasn't really much more of him hurting that I could take, and we found a way to make him smile again without destroying all the hard work he has put into this process. You've never seen someone so happy about eating toast. I understand. I friggin love toast.

So we got some new wheels on the wagon, rotated and balanced and everything. I even sprayed some new wagon smell inside. Have a sniff.

ALL ABOARD!!

- C

The Transforming Man

My Journey Through Life: Weight Loss, Emotional Growth, Warts and All.

Transforming Our Personal Mythology...

The gremlin has gone to sleep

Breakdown...Again.

My Negative Narrative: The List & Point-By-Point Refutation

Finding My Mojo...The Quest For Longterm Health

Why I can no longer Work for Money...And Why You shouldn't either.

This point in Time (Weight/Health/Family Updates)

Hefty Braggot: A Review

A slight redirection

Before the wheels fall off...